Kent when appearing on the radio on 20.5.2013.

Sorry, it's too late to write about this now...
And my memory is vague, so not exactly right about expressions they said.
But I really want to write and tell tsu-chan and piko.
I'm so glad, if you enjoy cute Kent :)

The DJ of this program is Sawada Osamu.
So let me write him=S and Kent=K.

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S: Today, there's a special guest.
   He's the first live guest since the beginnings of this program!!
   Kent from Lillies and remains, which band has just released its first single on 15.5!!

K: Hi, I'm Kent from Lillies and Remains, a vocalist.

S: Immediately, I received some emails already.
   “Just several days ago, I listened to a Lillies' song first, it was played on this program,
   and I felt like receiving body-blow (means really be shocked)!!!
   So I bought the new single, four copies!!”

K: Eh, wait, wait!! FOUR?? Eh?! WHY??!

S: “the one is for me, of course. And others are for my friends I want to give them shocked like me.I'm going to present.”

K: Ahhh, really, really, thank you...

S: Well, at the very beginning, let us make the listeners listen to one song.
   Could I say Lillies started from this song?

K: Yeah, right. ‘Moralist S.S./ Lillies and Remains’
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S: It was '08 I saw your band for the first time, maybe.
   At Daikanyama Unit, absolutely you lost control of yourselves,
   because you were caught up in the emotion of the moment and the audiences. (laugh)

K: (laugh wryly) Really? That time was the first?!

S: Why were you like that? Was it the first event for you?

K: No, no. But well... perhaps, it was the first gig since we came to Tokyo...
   and ah! just changed the band member.

S: Your band was formed in Kyoto, ne? Was your hometown too?

K: No, I'm from Osaka, but my college is there.

S: So you're a Kansai-jin (people from Kansai) through and through!!
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S: What category of music did you listen to when you were teenage?

K: Ah, at that age, I used to listen to really different one from now... loud... like metals and punks...

S: Then, we'll play the one chosen from them.

K: Yes, ‘Karma/ Kameot’.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

SORRY!!! I took a nap...(laugh)
I don't remember very well... but,
Kent said “I begun to listen to something called new-waves when I was a college-student or a little before that”, MAYBE...
And they played on the radio, ‘Eighties/ Killing Joke’ and ‘Effectual Truth/ Lillies and Remains’

------------------------------------------------------------------------

S: Next song is... what?! It's amazing! Wow... awesome... DAF...!!!
   Well... but, I feel the sound like DAF influences Lillies, so I can understand you request this song.

K: Yes, yes!! I'm influenced by them so much.
   The guitar sounds like ‘zakuzaku’... just like the song we were just talking about...
   Our sounds are linked to it so much.

S: Then, would you introduce the next song?

K: OK, ‘Der Mussolini/ DAF’              (DAF = Deutsch Amerikanische Freundschaft)
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S: Again, I've just understood about the sound of the guitar by listening now.

K: I think so too.

S: Well, do you have anything different a bit??

K: So... how about U2? I like the early years of them. The next song I'll play is also around that...
   Bono was still a harum-scarum.

S: Ah, there was the age like that... He seemed nothing like having contacts with politicians.
   People are going to change...

K: I love him and U2 at the age. ‘New Year's Day/ U2’
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S: By the way, I want to talk about your new single.
   This song is... ah, this seems to be influenced by the artists who you introduced a little while ago, I feel.

K: Ah, perhaps, yes.

S: Danceable, low voice and sounds... I was knocked in the head with them!!
   It's the typical Lillies, I feel.

K: Well, please listen. ‘REAL/ Lillies and Remains’
------------------------------------------------------------------------

S: This time, the lyrics of the title song is easier to understand than before, I feel.
   And! MV is also awesome... the regent hair, chains... pretty like '80s.
   (Kent was laughing while Sawada was talking.)

K: Then, let me play... ‘I SURVIVE/ Lillies and Remains’
------------------------------------------------------------------------

S: You have an announcement, right?

K: Yeah, we'll have gigs. They're one-man shows!! Well, in Tokyo, on 5.26, at Daikanyama Unit.

S: Woooow, that Unit!!!!!! (laugh)

K: Yeeeeees, that Unit!!!!!!!! (laugh so much)

S: How are you after appearing on this program?

K: Ahhh, I was really nervous... because this is live...

S: I didn't feel you were nervous at all.

K: Really? Maybe, because I've known you for some time, Sawada-san. It was good for me.

S: At the ending, we'll play one song. Well, really thank you, today!!!

K: Thank you, too!!!! Then, ‘John Steed/ TAHITI 80’

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kent seemed to really enjoy, and not to be nervous.
He often uses the Kansai dialect, it was soooooo cuuuuuute!!!

#3 What I used to love and What I'm loving now

In all honesty, I can't bring back to memories about what I used to enjoy, well enough.

I remember a bit, I played outdoors with my friends, we handed round one diary book among friends and kept our personal logs (we called it “koukan-nikki”), and so on...
But I still have strong memories of the fact I used to being bullied because I was very small and slow with trends.

Though I was a child, I understood, if I'm not engaged with other people, or I made my parents worry about and people ridiculed me as a freak.
So, for me, it was almost a duty that I related to people around me.

When I could get relaxed is the time I was alone.
I was often drawing or painting with swimming my favorite music sounds.
I think it might be my best amusement at that time.

Also now, I just love doing it.
Now I listen to more more music than when I was a child.
Though I can't have enough time to draw, the time is absolutely imperative. it makes me feel at home.

But it's not “ONLY”. just “ONE OF CHOICES I have”.

I love spending some time alone, and also love playing with my affable friends. It's not a “duty” now.
My job is often so hard, but I like it so much too. It makes me meet many people and talk with.
I love seeing smiles.

After I've written like this, I can't help but realize that I myself have became a cheerful person. haha...

However, same old, I'm not good at playing with many people, especially on the bar stool.
Though there're many, eventually, I talk with some best friends, perhaps.
But I think it's OK.
Because it's NOT a “duty”.


I think, NOW, I'm very free and enjoying my own life so much.

#2 What I want to change about myself.

There is the thing I really want to change about myself.

I'm often out of line... too ‘live-and-let-live’ type.

Especially in Japan, there is a culture of ‘cooperating with each other’or ‘all hands on deck’.
I think it's too strong. There is a saying ‘長い物には巻かれろ(means like can't fight city hall)’.
Thereby, I feel it's more difficult people express their identities... if they do it, others may see them as weirdos.

I hate the way of thinking I do because others also do.
While at the same time, I'm too out of line.

For example, there is a tactless man in your office.
What do you do for him?
I think the actions people around him do are divided into three types.
1. Helping him.
2. Reminding and trying to improve.
3. Letting he is.
As it is now, my choice is definitely No.3. I think I never have feelings like No.1. I never want to help him if he's just a tactless man and seems to be able to improve him way easily.
In this case, the best way seems No.2. We can make him more conscious, and also make ourselves feel better, perhaps.
But I often feel what a bother...
If I don't change myself from now on, I can't change my surrounding. Both people around me and I never improve nothing.

It doesn't mean that I'm not interested in others at all.
I think, I'm good at absorbing  antagonistic or different views from mine, so-so.
But just that's all.
I want to be able to take one step further, I mean, want to be able to discuss good points and bad ones of each other.




■■■■■

I'm so sorry I couldn't finish this entry sooner...
It was so difficult for me to write in English about my feelings I can't express enough even in Japanese, my mother tongue.
But I'll try continuing.

About Blogging Challenge; The 2013 Challenge

順番が前後してしまいましたが…。
ちょっと英語を頑張ってみようと思います。

普段、twitterをかなり汎用しているわけなんですが、
いつの間にやら、ラルク繋がりで海外のフォロワーさんが増え、交流するようになり、“生きた英語”を感じるようになりました。

で、もっときちんと勉強しようかなぁ、と。

当初、このブログにて、yukihiroさんのコラムの英訳でもしようかなと思ったのですが、
それをとあるフォロワーさんに相談したところ、この“The 2013 Challenge”という企画を立ててくれました。
海外のフォロワーさん４人と私がそれぞれに、毎週決められたテーマについてブログを書いていく予定です。

他の皆さんは勿論英語が堪能なので、英語を学ぶためにブログを書くわけではなく、文章を書くスキルを上げるために参加しています。
なので、私の投稿だけがやたらと幼稚な文で拙いものだと思いますが…(苦笑)
そこはもう、開き直って、彼らに支えてもらいながら、続けられたらなぁと考えています。

全体のテーマはBecoming A Better Person and To Live A Better Life.

４人のブログを紹介しておきます。
また、もしも、やりたい！って人がいたら是非。ご相談を。
Sketchy: http://thesketchbookjournal.wordpress.com/
Satticus Rex: http://thedotsproject.wordpress.com/
Desiree: http://completewithfears.wordpress.com/
Nerissa: http://adventuresinthesuperunknown.wordpress.com/

#1 Write Down Things I Would Like To Do In 2013

To live, there are the words I keep in mind.

“20s: The term to pick up
  30s: The term to make a choice
  40s: The term to deepen”

I should enlarge my horizons during my 20s by picking up many things and meeting many people.
To do this is so important for thinking about what I need, what I want to deepen, with precision as well as I can when I'm in my 30s.
I'm 28 years old now. It's almost the end of my 20s.
I wnat to live this year, 2013, with being more aware of “meeting many people and things” than ever before.

By the way, I'm a pharmacist.
I was raised comfortably from my childhood, not so rich though, just ordinary.
Also my friends were raised almost the same as me.
All entered high schools after we graduated junior high schools.
And most of my HS friends and I entered universities because the one I attended was a college-preparatory school.
After educated, we got our jobs as salaried workers.
Recently, the friends got married one after another, and perhaps, they'll give birth in the near future.

Now, I challenge such a conventional way of life like that.I want to find my own way of expressing individuality.

My destination is; “a pharmacist +α”

Not only a salaried pharmacist, I want to become a unique one having something special.
I'll try to find the “+α” this year.
So I try to many many things what I'm interested in.


［Details］

Ⅰ. What I've already decided to do
・Trying to finish a full-length marathon in Mar.
・Traveling to Thailand in Apr.
・Going to see rock festivals in May and Aug, and other many lives.

Ⅱ. What I want to do, or I'm interested in
・Volunteer works (related to art or medication)
・Aroma therapist
・Cooking (with thinking about nutriology)
・Drawing and painting
・Playing the guitar and the piano
・Playing badminton (once I played)

And, of course, ENGLISH.


At the end, I want to introduce the words Yusuke Kobayashi (from THE NOVEMBERS) said when he talked with KENT (from Lillies and Remains)
(You can read it on Ongaku-to-Hito, Feb.2013)

“I think who can understand if the things are what he should do or not and carry out for real, is much nicer and cleverer than who can do everything without thinking so much.”

Really I think so, too.

認めるということ。

それぞれのやり方があるのではないでしょうか。

別の道を行く決断をしたからといって、相手を否定しているわけではなくて。
寧ろ、認めているのではと思うわけです。

察するに、別の人の目星がついていたわけではなく、ゼロから“適役はいないか”という意思を持って探したようじゃないですか。

勿論、今回大役を任された方々は、気に入られて、というのは当たり前のお話ですが…
外された方々だって、“この人達はこのアレンジには合わない”と判断＝彼がそれぞれの持ってる特徴だったりオーラだったりを理解している、ということだと思うんですよね。
それって、全然否定しているわけではなくて。
無理やり、“今回こうなったから俺色に合わせてね”って押し付けるより、ずっと敬意を払ってると思うんですよ。

彼はプロなわけです。
そしてサポート側だってプロなわけです。
ドライすぎるとかそういう話じゃないんです。

それに対して、こちら側が気に入るか否かは自由。
賞賛するのも酷評するのも自由。
ついて行くのも離れていくのも自由。

ただし、自分の感覚で、自分の耳で、判断を下しなさい、と思うのです。

聴かせる側は、恐らく誰一人としてネガティブな考えの下に決断なんてしてません。
こちら側も誠意を持って全力で楽しみに行きたい、と私は思うのです。



最後に。
愛ゆえに、という気持ちも分からなくはないのです。
ただ、私は“今”の彼がすごくすごく好きで仕方ない派なのです…
まぁ全体から見ればマイノリティ派でしょうね。
だからちょっとキツイ意見になりがちかも。
中立ではないので、その辺ご考慮いただければ幸いです。

じれんま。

相変わらず、色々なところで、色々な人に、
何でもできる人だね。ハイスペックだね。
とか言われる。

全然意味が分からない。

…いや、分かることは分かるかな。

ただそれは真の私ではないわけで。


相変わらず、他人に隙を見せるのが苦手だ。
本当は力抜きたい。ふにゃーってしたいｗ


だけど、周りがそう言えば言うほどに、私はまた取り繕う。
面倒な性格だ。


原因はどうしようもないほどの負けず嫌いにあると思う。
そして‘負けない’ために頑張ってる姿を見せるのも大嫌い。
…結果、なんか天才肌がいる、という印象になるようだ。

あぁ、面倒。


なんで皆そんなにのほほんと力抜いて生きられるのか。
一瞬一瞬が惜しくて、興味あることにあれこれ突っ込んでいってしまう。
心の余裕が欲しいと思いながらも、自ら無くす方向に進んでる。


最近、10年以上前にほんの少しだけお付き合いした元彼と仲良くなった。もちろん友人として。
話してて、意外とあなた私のこと知ってるのねって思うｗ
そんな彼に言われた言葉。
その顔で、その格好で、その趣味の広さで、おまけに薬剤師って言われたら、
こっちはどんなスペック備えて挑んだら分かんねーよ、って思われるよ？
…やっぱそう見えるんだなぁ。


深呼吸しよう。