#2 What I want to change about myself.

There is the thing I really want to change about myself.

I'm often out of line... too ‘live-and-let-live’ type.

Especially in Japan, there is a culture of ‘cooperating with each other’or ‘all hands on deck’.
I think it's too strong. There is a saying ‘長い物には巻かれろ(means like can't fight city hall)’.
Thereby, I feel it's more difficult people express their identities... if they do it, others may see them as weirdos.

I hate the way of thinking I do because others also do.
While at the same time, I'm too out of line.

For example, there is a tactless man in your office.
What do you do for him?
I think the actions people around him do are divided into three types.
1. Helping him.
2. Reminding and trying to improve.
3. Letting he is.
As it is now, my choice is definitely No.3. I think I never have feelings like No.1. I never want to help him if he's just a tactless man and seems to be able to improve him way easily.
In this case, the best way seems No.2. We can make him more conscious, and also make ourselves feel better, perhaps.
But I often feel what a bother...
If I don't change myself from now on, I can't change my surrounding. Both people around me and I never improve nothing.

It doesn't mean that I'm not interested in others at all.
I think, I'm good at absorbing  antagonistic or different views from mine, so-so.
But just that's all.
I want to be able to take one step further, I mean, want to be able to discuss good points and bad ones of each other.




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I'm so sorry I couldn't finish this entry sooner...
It was so difficult for me to write in English about my feelings I can't express enough even in Japanese, my mother tongue.
But I'll try continuing.